Honey, I'm Home

Arrived home from vacation today. Early. For New Year's Eve. I'm looking forward to it. It's 4 AM, so I really don't have a lot of creativity having been awake for 22 hours now.

Christmas was nice. Relaxing, for the most part. Skiing was variable. The days before Christmas were VERY cold (think -25˚F BEFORE wind chill), which made the snow very slow. Mix slow snow with cold conditions, and you get a quite unhappy Rebecca. It warmed gradually after the Holiday, however. This made the snow quicker, and since it kept snowing and snowing and snowing, conditions were great.

Since one of my mother's gifts was new skis and poles, I inherited my mother's old skis (which really aren't that old) and got new poles and goggles for Chrsitmas. I spent most of the vacation skiing and only actually went out boarding one day. My feet get a lot colder in those boots, for whatever reason, so it's more difficult to stay out for a long time. : (

Two other families we know from East Troy have homes in the area (the Martins and the Fons's). Tuesday night we all went out for pizza, and Wednesday night we all went to the Fons house for dinner and Pictionary. I know it sounds corny, but it was actually very competitive and fun, especially since my team won. ; )

Nothing else notable since the routine was pretty much the same each day. Hope everyone celebrates a safe and fun New Year's Eve!

Weekly Update

Yes, accusations are correct, and I am falling behind on my posting. It probably won't help that I leave tomorrow for our second house (trying to make myself sound as rich as possible for whichever Anonymous keeps saying I am) to go skiing and boarding with my family. Unsure when we'll be back, but my parents want to drive back on January 1st so my mom can get work done around the house the 2nd because she has to be back at school the 3rd. I'd rather drive back New Year's Eve or the 30th so I can be home, but who knows what'll happen. No Internet for the duration of my stay there, though, so you'll have to live with phone contact. I'll have my cell, and if you call I'll probably give you the house number there because I don't have good reception at that house either.

For those of you that saw my away message and were worried, no, nothing is seriously wrong with my car. I had a few small concerns and I didn't know if they were legitimate or because I've never owned a Mazda before. Turns out they were legit, but I caught them early enough, it's not a big deal. The sucky part is that it was sub-freezing (I realize that's difficult for you southerners to fathom) so they didn't wash my car when they were done. (Yeah, rich people get their cars washed when they take them in to get serviced...) I'm realizing that when you're so low to the ground you get a lot more shit on your car, including on the top of the vehicle. Pretty much sucks.

School's out for winter break. Pretty sure finals went fine. I got a letter in the mail (for those of you dying to know what happened) about my room situation. Next semester my roommate is moving down the hall to a single-single: room meant for one and occupied by one. I get to keep the double single: room meant for two and occupied by one. I'm just glad things worked out.

Last but not least, the work update: since my family occupies 2 weeks of my break every winter for the ski/snowboard trip, I'm taking at least 2 weeks off from the Heidel House. I talked to my boss from East Troy and she said I'd probably get hours here for the remaining 2 weeks of break if I wanted them. I'll probably take them since I know it will be busier here than in Green Lake, plus I'd have bartending shifts here and wait shifts in GL. I go back to school Friday the 14th, so after then I'll be back at the Heidel House.

It's late and I have a long drive tomorrow, so I'm going to bed. Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and maybe even a Happy New Year if I don't post again before then.

Old School

So I have a little time to post while I'm deciding not to start my Leadership and Democracy final paper yet. Rumor has it that the paper's not going to be easy...at all...so I'm going to need a lot of time to devote to it, and I'm so exhausted I can't focus enough to write it.

ANYWAY, I thought I'd bring back the old posts with the links to games and random sites. I hope these are a little more entertaining than the regular posts and at least some people look at them.

Since I posted Tuesday, I had to waitress on Wednesday. It was really slow and boring. Again.

Thursday morning I had my first OC Chairperson Meeting. It sounds like it's going to be a good time. We had martial arts that night, where we sparred and wrestled, which was cool cuz I haven't been able to do that in a while. Came back and watched the OC, and then went to park my car where I got a spot in the lot. Very sweet.

Friday I had one not-even class, which was a big waste of time, which I hated, cuz some teachers just like to waste their students' time. I went to Green Lake after to pick up my bartending license application, which I'll hopefully be able to pick up on Tuesday. Made $7.95/hr at work. Pretty bad. Saturday had to open and worked until about 6:45. Made about $7.45/hr. Drew and I are thinking about getting applications at Goose Blind, another resturant in Green Lake cuz we heard January is even slower than December. : (

This week I work some really non-winning days: Monday for 15 people on property, Friday for 62, and Saturday, the only maybe-money-maker for 166. Of course I open on Saturday, which usually means less money. Lucky me. I'm supposed to work Sunday, but have to be out of the dorms Saturday by noon, so I'm thinking of telling my boss I can't since there will be a staggering 9 people there.

At least Christmas vacation is on its way. 5 days until I get to go home... : )

So Busy Lately!

It seems like forever since I've updated, but it's really been just under 2 weeks, so I think if you're deeply stressed by this situatino you need to re-evaluate your life and figure out why it revolves around my blog, cuz you've got serious issues.

Anyway, I got my car the Friday after the last post and I've been loving every minute of my 12 days with it. Got my snow tires this past Friday, but I'm stull sure I'll need to be rescued from the ditch by someone with a real car at some point this winter. Monday my radar detector came in the mail. I installed it today, so I've used it, well, on campus. But I'm still glad to have it, especially in the absence of cruise control. Here it is, real color, real car, and everything.


Homework has been overbearing lately, which sucks. Yesterday it was homework from 3:30 til 11:30 with a break for dinner and a shower. 8 hours is just too much! And just when I was thinking I was getting close to being done, or close enough to go back to normal, I realize I have a paper due Thursday I forgot about... dammit! So glad this semester is almost over.

Work has been up an down. One day I don't break minimum wage; the next I'm clearing $20/hr. I witsh every day was a $20/hr day...

That's all you get for now, because I still have homework to do.

Ben: Dude, that would suck if you spontaneously combusted.
Chris: Yeah, I wonder if you could stop, drop, and roll...

Brandon: Dude, we've got too many friends going nowhere in life.
Chris: Yeah, like this guy.
Nick: It's not that I'm not going anywhere, I'm just destined to fail.

Rob, after hitting Stu in the face with a box of Cheez-Its: "I'm sorry, Stu. You can have half the box. Then you can have half, Mark. Then I'll have whatever's left after that."

zoom zoom...

I lieu of going to Chicago to look at the 2002 Viggen I wanted, my dad talked me into going to a dealership in Milwaukee instead. There, in an attempt to talk me out of getting the Viggen Convetible, he said "look, you could lease this brand new Miata for less than they're asking for the Viggen." I bite. So I suggest we go for a test drive. That was sweet. This car is so tight. Got back to the dealership, completely in love. Guy also mentioned a pre-owned Mistubishi Eclipse Spyder. Gave that a test drive and knew it wasn't cuttin it. In short, here's my new wheels, guys. The finish is a Metallic Titanium Gray, so a little darker than that car, but otherwise same same. 6-speed beauty. Anyway, that's mine for the next 3 years, and I just thought I'd share that good news with all of you. : )

Phew!

I just finished writing my roommate letter, yes, at 3:30 AM. We have our meeting 18 hours, and I'm really not sure what to expect. I'm hoping for some change or resolution, but not holding my breath. 1300 words I crafted as well as I could, trying to be descriptive yet consice, but I still feel like I have so much more agitating me. :-/ I'll prolly have an update later, as I'm sure you're all dying to hear. Still no word on the room situation for next semester. And I'll be sure to let you, my adoring public, know when I get word on that, apparently after thanksgiving and before Christmas Break. they really narrow it down for you, don't they??

Anyway, I'm off to bed; no college quotes tonight cuz I added that stuff on the top earlier tonight, and now I'm just exhausted.

Friday

Still no sign of my replacement keyboard in my mailbox, but I sure am anxious. Copying and pasting the letter t over and over is a pain.

It's raining today and I hate rain. And wouldn't you know that I had some extra time this morning and DID my HAIR? It looked pretty good until I walked into the rain. Now it just looks like beach-hair, which I guess is okay because my hair never really does that on it's own, but it wasn't what I spen time trying to accomplish.

Anyway, I'm off to work until bar close with my summer hair. Cross your fingers for big bling for me.

Bill: "His forehead is so fucking huge. It's not even a forehead, it's more like a fivehead."

Kellie: The math is just a tool.
Keenan: My tool is broken.
Professor Brown: They have drugs for that now.

Evie: Why is there chicken in the toilet?
Alex: It's not chicken it's biscuits.
Evie: Okay then why are there BISCUITS in the toilet?
Alex: I wasn't going to eat them and the toilet looked starved.

Computer Update

Well a drive to Milwaukee and back with nothing to show for it but a full tummy, I learned my options for fixing my keyboard:

(1) Have the Apple Store order my part, drive back to Milwaukee, wait while they install it, and pay an ass-raping in labor.
(2) Order the part and attempt to install it myself for approximately the same net cost (difficult to figure gas cost).
(3) Leave it and continue to either copy-paste t's, use plus signs, or substitute underscores...basically not fix it at all.

I chose option 2. $150 and some patience for UPS/FedEx Ground later, We may have a solution...

Stay tuned.

(this blog artfully copied and pasted by yours truly for your reading ease. appreciate it.)

Sam: I fell asleep watching the History Channel.
Ann: What were you watching?
Sam: Something about World War II. And I was mad, 'cause I really wanted to see who won.

Sloan: "I'm fumbling around, using my cell phone for light, like I'm back in the Dark Ages or some shit."

Brian: You know what my goal...
Hish: To get into med school?
Brian: No, I...
Hish: Wait, you're applying to med school?
Brian: No, my goal tonight...
Hish: You're not getting into med school in one night, dude.

Lots of Bad News

I'll begin wih a quick explanaion/apology ha here will be none of he leer beween r and y in his (and possibly fuure) pos(s) because my darling roommae go my comuer we and ha paricular ky doesn' work. I know his will be a lile difficl o read. Sorry.

A more serious issue, here has been a passing of which I hink hose from Eas roy should be aware. You can view an aricle here. His wife graduaed wih my class and currenly aends Carroll College.

I also became aware, paricularly his week, how much people can suck. You hink hey are your friends, bu hen hey ransack your room looking for beef jerky ha your moher sen ha you hadn' even eaen any of ye. hey break hings and knock over everyhing in your close looking for i. hey even rummage hrough your underwear drawer, boh disurbing and absurd. o op i all off, hey leave you a noe on your compuer elling you ha hey know your mom sen beef jerky, you should sop being a bich, and you have o alk o hem in he morning or you're no longer friends. How kind, righ? Oh, bu he noe was lef on we paper hen closed inside your lapop. Now your keyboard doesn' work properly. Excellen. In addiion, you had o sleep elsewhere because he culpri decided o pass ou on YOUR bed. Lovely.

And his is only he las sraw ha broke his camel's back. Such "friends" also consume all of your food and waer, complain when i's gone, and leave you wih nohing o grab when you're running ou he door on your way o work. While you're gone, you lock he door o keep belingings safe, bu you reurn home o find your roommae...oops, "he culpri"...has lef your door wide open, V blaring, lighs all on while she's gone o a differen building enirely o ry o ge some ass from he firs guy she sees. You're hungry and ired afer work, and I've already menioned ha your food has been eaen. You're hirsy, so you look for a bole of waer -- of which you purchased he las wo CASES, and here's none lef. She drank probably all bu 7 boles, which you managed o ge (of boh cases) before she drank all ha...or hrew away a half-full bole because i was "room emperaure," a likely effec when you leave hem siing all over he room.

Bu he bigger issue, my keyboard, which has been esimaed a abou $200 o fix: her response "I'm so broke righ now." I've been rying o dry i ou using my hairdryer on he "cool" seing, She apparenly really hopes ha works, cuz she's "so poor." GE A JOB!! I reurn home from work -- which I manage o hold down successfully while sill finding ime o complee my schoolwork -- and he hair dryer is OFF! Doesn' ake a college educaion o realize here is zero drying-power in a hair dryer ha's OFF!!!

I've also had o se my compuer so ha a password has o be enered in order o use i from he screensaver because my wonderful "friends" like o mess wih hings on my compuer. hursday I reurn home from working 13 hours o find my lapop MISSING from my desk. I have a lock on he damn hing. Bu oher "friends" hough i'd be a funny joke o rummage hrough my belongings o find he key hen seal my enire compuer (wih he fucked-up keyboard and he password proecion, mind you). Funny?! No even close!

I'm sure his is difficul o read, so I'll end i. Hope your friends are beer han mine and smare han his:

Chad: Which way do I turn?
Garrett: Left you dumbass. Will and Grace would be seriously disappointed in you.
Jason: Will and Grace?
Garrett: Yeah, those explorers.
Chad: That's Lewis and Clark you dumb fuck.
Garrett: Yeah, them too.

Garrett: "It's okay man, there are plenty of girls in the lake...that swim."
(trying to console a rejected friend with mixed metaphor)

PJ: "Where are my shoes? Please give me back my shoes, I don't want to get raped."

Case of the Mundays...

So I decided to change the poll today. 83% of you voted FOR a chat function, which means 17% voted AGAINST it. Yeah, that's *cough* 5 to 1. But basically I'm too lazy to do it right now, and I really don't think anyone will use it, so I'm postponing that. New poll. Lame, but new.

I did absolutely nothing interesting today and didn't learn anything either. Typical day for me. Lunch sucked. Might go to OshKosh with Anneli in a bit, but right now I have to go get my laundry, so I'm ending this.

Dan: What language are those from?!
TA: They're Greek letters.
Dan: What Greece are those used in?!?
(Proving that math majors do not take geography)

Mark: "Writing was designed by the stupid to get the intellectuals to stop talking."

Melissa: I've got to go home, I have Calc at 8:30 in the morning.
Brock: Calculus? You don't need to go to that shit! Your not gonna grow up to be a calculator...

This Sucks

SO I know it's old news by now, but I haven't updated since, and it sucks that Bush won. A few cartoons and some words from Michael Moore, and of course the dumb college student statements.




Friday, November 5th, 2004
17 Reasons Not to Slit Your Wrists...by Michael Moore

Dear Friends,

Ok, it sucks. Really sucks. But before you go and cash it all in, let's, in the words of Monty Python, "always look on the bright side of life!" There IS some good news from Tuesday's election.

Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Feeling better? I hope so. As my friend Mort wrote me yesterday, "My Romanian grandfather used to say to me, 'Remember, Morton, this is such a wonderful country -- it doesn't even need a president!'"

But it needs us. Rest up, I'll write you again tomorrow.

Yours,

Michael Moore

Jeremy: "You know that game Uno? Uno is Spanish for one!"

Ryan G.: "Monkeys are semi-smart, funny, and they throw their own poop. Yeah, they are so much like us humans."

Kritter: First I'm going to spear those two cops on the horses then I'm going to jump roundhouse kick that other cop in the face
Undercover cop: 10-4, we're going to need some more backup.
Kritter: Wait, you're a cop too?

Model Advice: 21 Ways To Snag a Model

Models have a reputation of being those unattainable lithe creatures with perfect skin that exist only on pages of glossy magazines and in swanky nightclubs. In reality, models are everywhere. They are also a lot easier to get to know than what you think. The most important thing to remember if you’d like to have a model in your life (and who wouldn’t – she can pose in lingerie) is to forget that she is a model. Treat her like a human being and try to pretend like you care what’s on her gorgeous mind.

Here are some rules to get you started:

1. Know where to hunt. If you usually go to sports bars, you chances of meeting that blonde from Guess ad are smaller than if you hang out at places like model agencies, posh restaurants, night clubs and photo studios. Do your research – read a gossip section of as newspaper to find out where the models are and go right there.

2. It helps to get the right job. Face it: photographers, producers, casting directors or cousins of any of the above have a higher chance of getting a quality lay. It helps to have a professionally done business card, too. You can use something mysterious, such as “entertainment professional” or “Vogue casting director” as a job description.

3. Don’t belittle modeling. Contrary to the popular belief, modeling is a hard work. It’s not just laying on the Bahamas beach while someone presses the camera button. There is a good amount of traveling, butt-kissing and money spending that these girls have to do before they get to where they are. Also, don’t forget that they have to wake up at 4am to be on time for that sunrise photoshoot on the Bahamas.

4. Pretend that you are not interested in sleeping with her, and she’ll rip your clothes off very quickly. Since 99.9 % of men are dying to sleep with her, it makes you very interesting, original and unapproachable. Most of us want what we can’t have.

5. Always pay for her. She’s used to it. Be prepared to spend a lot of money without getting a “thank you” or a kiss. As I said, she is used to it. If you don’t do it, some sleaze ball surely will. Treat her like royalty that she is. Don’t you like that look of jealousy on the face of the guy who’s sitting on your right? Being seen with a beautiful woman can be a very sexy feeling.

6. Some models tend to go for spiritual sensitive types with creative professions. Translation: if you’re broke you can still sleep with a supermodel. Write some poetry, boy!

7. If she takes you to a casting call, where hundreds of gorgeous hopefuls in miniskirts compete for modeling jobs, don’t drool and don’t act like you’re in heaven. Put an emotion of extreme disgust on your face while you are checking out those legs and breasts, then turn back to your model girlfriend and whisper, “ Those girls are nothing in comparison to You. They’re all ugly.” If you see a particularly delicious-looking butt, stare at it and tell your girlfriend to check out how fat it is. This way you get a chance to look at whatever you like, undisturbed.

8. Be attentive and always buy her gifts. The more they cost, the better. Once again, she is used to it. Alternatively, write a lot of poetry.

9. Listen. This one is probably the most important – don’t look at her breasts the whole time. Listen.

10. Complement each one of her features separately. Instead of saying “You are so beautiful,” say “You have the most beautiful eyes (lips, skin, freckles) I’ve ever seen.”

11. Don’t ask her to introduce you to her “model girlfriends.” All men do and she hates it.

12. Tell her that her personality and her brains are what really sets her apart from other women. Her beauty is just an added bonus, not the main thing that attracts you to her. Yeah, right! Are those long lean legs considered a personality trait?


13. Don’t comment on her height. She is a model because she is tall. You are an engineer, because you went to college. Get it? Also, if she likes to wear those slinky lack stilettos that make her exactly six feet three inches tall, don’t be insecure – chances are her agent told her to wear them and she’s just being obedient. What a good girl!

14. Don’t ask her to show you her modeling portfolio; wait until she volunteers to do it. A confident man is never overeager. Move slowly, like a tiger. When you do see the photos, don’t salivate over them. Don’t point at her highly airbrushed photo in a pink bikini and ask, “ Why don’t you look like that in real life, baby?” Models look a lot better on photos that they do in day-to-day situations, and Cindy Crawford made some money off of this sad fact. The supermodel released a book, where she openly explained what products she uses to make her face look like what we know and not what she wakes up with. Sorry to kill your illusions, but models are only mortals.

15. When you look at her portfolio, quickly flip over her sexy photos and stop at the ones where she looks natural. Tell her you like her natural look the best. Most models are insecure, because their job depends on whether or not they got a pimple on the left side of the forehead. She’d appreciate the fact that you find her sexy in jeans.

16. If you get a chance to see her walk the fashion catwalk, always mention that you were mesmerized by her beauty and her graceful walk. Then add that you like the way she walks from the kitchen to your bedroom even more. She’ll walk that way pretty soon.

17. Don’t show her off to your buddies. Chances are, many men have done that to her in the past, and this is why they are now history. Nobody likes to be treated as a beautiful “thing” and models are not an exception. If you are really dying to show her off, though, don’t tell your buddies that she is a model and make sure they don’t ask her any “modeling” questions, unless she is the one initiating the discussion.

18. Read People magazine before your date with her. Models are usually very well educated in the field of entertainment and celebrity-gossip. You are not likely to be as successful if you study the New Yorker before your romantic get together with your Gucci girl, although there are always exceptions.

19. She is on a diet. Accept it and don’t encourage her to eat, because her agent is telling her not to eat. Models have to be thin. Acknowledge it or move on.

20. Don’t tell her that you know a lot of models and that they are all your friends. It sounds like a cheesy bull. Unfortunately, a lot of great guys still use this line, crossing out their chances of hooking up with a model.

21. Tell her that you would like her even if she was ugly and 50 lbs heavier. It would give her the security of knowing that you are not in there just for her beauty. Don’t forget: with that evil modeling agent by her side, she is very unlikely to balloon, so speak freely.

Photos (and More Links) for Your Enjoyment

Here's some fun pictures from recently.

Thursday in Madison:


Friday @ work, the BoatHouse Staff:


Friday @ work, Bam Bam (Drew) and Pebbles (Me):


Slap the Candidate
Brains for Bush
REALLY Scary
After You

Happy Halloween

I work a lot. my wrist really hurts and I'm not sure why. this will probably be short and relatively unedited.

Bcause of the election, interesting tendancy... and I'm definitely rooting for the Pack ; )

Tome sent this to me. Worth wasting 2 minutes watching.

In closing, we're doomed.

Wait, have to add the stupidisms...

"I'm not into fighting. Rather, I'm especially not into fighting world-class kick boxers."

Laura: "I was going to go to sleep but I couldn't find an away message!"

Meg, completely unaware of where moth balls actually come from: "How big are those moths??!"

Wedding Reception Pix

My mom & dad


My mom & I (no resemblance, I know)

Saturday, Sunday, Monday

Work today was really slow. Didn't even break $7 an hour. Winter is going to suck. Thinking about hunting around for other jobs that'll make some cash I could actually make car payments with... In other news, Fall Break is over so I will be posting less often. I got back on Sunday evening. Saturday had a Color Belt Promotion at the martial arts school then went to a wedding reception south of O'Hare in some suburb of Chicago. I loved how I had 3 back-seat drivers the whole way there and only 2 people in the back seat... To which I say:At least they slept most of the way home. Now that you have my update in reverse, here's a cartoon about cats and some stupid college student quotes to send you on your way.

"If I'm an animal and I stare at you, I either want to fight you, eat you, or fuck you."

Tobin's Mom: I just don't understand why everyone thinks Paris Hilton is so attractive.
Tobin: You'd be the worst lesbian ever, mom.

Derek H.: "It's pretty sweet how at your dorm all the ugly chicks stay in their rooms with the doors closed."

Friday

Today I cleaned my room nonstop for probably 6 hours. I don't know why, I was just in that mood. It's amazing. Later tonight Sammi and I are going out, and I have to wake up tomorrow, so I thought I'd make my completely pointless post now. Yay for the new addition of the Dumb Quote Picture Header.

Since I don't have anything to say about my day, you'll get more quotes today...

"There are two things one needs in this life: booze and boobs. However, both can be quite hard to obtain, unless you're a girl, in which case they're both practically given to you."

"People don't die from being drunk. They die from sucking at being drunk."
-Robert, after reading an alcohol poisoning poster

Police officer: We busted this party because of a noise complaint.
Jerrad: Well what if I was in the front lawn ground-bonging beers and not making any noise?
Police officer: Well I couldn't do anything because you are 21 and weren't making any noise.
Jerrad: Someone get the fucking beer bong NOW!!!

Steve: So did I ask you guys the one about if you would do it with a guy once if you could have Britney Spears for the rest of your life?
Joe: Dude that's sick.
Nick: I don't know Matt Damon's kind of...
Joe: Alright this game's over.

Some lyrics

If you're reading this, it's not for you... My Boo - Usher & Alicia Keys There’s always that one person that will always have your heart You never see it coming cause you’re blinded from the start Know that you’re that one for me it’s clear for everyone to see Ooh baby, you will always be my boo I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and It’s the only way we know how to rock I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and It’s the only way we know how to rock Do you remember girl I was the one that gave you your first kiss Cause I remember girl I was the one who said put your lips like this Even before all the fame and people screamin your name Girl I was there and you were my baby It started when we were younger you were mine, my boo Now another brother's taken over but it’s still in you’re eyes, my boo Even though we use to argue it’s all right, my boo I know we haven’t seen each other in a while But you will always be my boo I was in love with you when we were younger you were mine, my boo When I see you from time to time I still feel like, my boo, that's my baby You can see it no matter how I try to hide, my boo, i can't hide it And even though there’s another man who’s in my life You will always be my boo Yes I remember boy cause after we kissed I can only think about you’re lips Yes I remember boy the moment I knew You were the one I could spend my life with Even before all the fame and people screamin your name I was there and you were my baby It started when we were younger you were mine, my boo, you were mine Now another brother's taken over but it’s still in you’re eyes, my boo, yes it is Even though we use to argue it’s all right, my boo, it's alright, it's ok I know we haven’t seen each other in a while But you will always be my boo I was in love with you when we were younger you were mine (you were my boo) (my boo) When I see you from time to time I still feel like (my boo) You can see it no matter how I try to hide (my boo)(it's all right now, it's ok) And even though there’s another man who’s in my life (what we have is in each other) You will always be my boo My oh my oh my oh my oh my boo My oh my oh my oh my oh my boo (It started when we were younger you were mine, you were mine, my boo Now another brother's taken over but it’s still in you’re eyes, my boo, you and i Even though we use to argue it’s all right, my boo, it's all right, it's ok I know we haven’t seen each other in a while But you will always be my boo I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and It’s the only way we know how to rock I don’t know about y’all but I know about us and

This one's from Zach MMMBop - Hanson You have so many relationships in this life Only one or two will last You're go through all the pain and strife Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast And they're gone so fast Oh so hold on the ones who really care In the end they'll be the only ones there When you get old and start losing your hair Can you tell me who will still care Can you tell me who will still care, oh care Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose You can plant any one of those Keep planting to find out which one grows It's a secret no one knows It's a secret no one knows In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there. In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there. In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there. In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there. Until you lose your hair. But you don't care. So hold on the ones who really care In the end they'll be the only ones there When you get old and start losing your hair Can you tell me who will still care Can you tell me who will still care, oh care Can you tell me? No You can't 'cause you don't know. You say you can but you don't know. Can you tell me which flower's going to grow? Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose? Can you tell me which flower's going to grow? Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know. Don't know

Dumb College Student Quotes of the Day:

"Fine! If I can't kiss you then I will just headbutt you."

"Dude, I wish there was a button I could push that would make hot, drunk chicks fall from the sky."

Wednesday

So I've noticed that the less I have to do, the smaller the percentage of it I get done. When I'm at school, I have any number of assignments to juggle, along with my overtime-part time job, and running martial arts club. Somehow there are enough hours in the day to still get a decent-to-good night's sleep every night. Now I have no scheduled time to wake up, no scheduled work shifts, very few scheduled appointments, and I had 2 homework-related goals for all of break. I've managed to work on none of my school work, I've been late to every appointment so far, and I'm still somehow tired all day. What's going on?

Today, as you might have guessed, was pretty uneventful. I took Sammi to the doctor cuz she stayed home yesterday, today, and will be staying home tomorrow from school cuz she's not feeling well. (In case you were wondering, we were late to her appointment too.) We stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home, and stopped at SubWay for dinner. I helped out at the karate school for the last 2 classes, came home, and watched a movie. I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before, but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I could seem to find my toothbrush, which I used to brush my teeth. I removed my contact lenses, first the right, then the left, as I do every night. Now I'm writing this blog. And if you can tell me where that quote comes from, you win a high five.

I have nothing else to say, because I am forbidden from saying anything else that happened today. Wait, am I allowed to say that?! =-o

And the dumb college student quotes of the evening:

"Boobs are like lighthouses, they're a pain to maintain but they're a damn good thing to have around."
(just for the approaching election...)

Simonne: Have you ever noticed that Ivy League schools never submit random quotes to the site?
Alex: Well don't worry they're not any smarter than us. Look at Bush. He went Ivy League and he farts out stupid shit all the time.
Andrea: Why are we talking about W's bowel movements?
Olia: W isn't a vowel. It's a consonant right?

Three for Three

I've been posting every day out of sheer boredom, so hopefully you're keeping up with my uneventful life. Aaron made me aware of this website tonight. It's full of stupid things college students (and sometimes professors) say. For your sake, I have signed up for the daily e-mail and will post a good one daily. Well, whenever I post, if I remember, I'll add one to the end, and that's the best you're going to get, so deal.

I went out to eat with my family today to Red Losbter. That was amazing. I love Red Lobster.

Sometimes (okay, semi-frequently) when I'm bored online I'll use that thing on the top of the blog to find someone else's random blog, and I found this one last night. Whoever it is seems pretty funny from the 2 posts I've read. There's one to keep an eye on.

Tom sent me this movie of guys playing the piano with their, um, *cough*, male parts. Don't worry (or don't get too excited), there's no actual nudity, but it's interesting all the same.

In my boredom I also found a way to add a chat function type thing to my blog. I'm adding a poll to the right-hand side of the page, so please vote on that.

That's all for now. I recorded the premier of "The Biggest Loser" on replay TV (like TiVo) so I'm going to go watch that. I'm sure I'll have more to babble about tomorrow.

As promised, the dumb college quotes (with help from Aaron):

"The more I go to college in hopes of making an honest life, and work hard to get somewhere respectful... the more I want to sell drugs...and prostitute myself."

Jim: Is it wrong to date a 16 year old?
Brad: No it's not wrong, just illegal.
Jim: It's only illegal if it all goes well.

Lapse in Judgement

Who let me date this??




*shudder*

---

On a semi-unrelated note, there are links to new blogs on the side of mine now. I doubt these people know they're there, so I think it'd be entertaining if people they didn't know read their blogs and left comments. That's where you come in...

Links

Freecycle: Get free stuff and give away stuff you don't use anymore. Tons of hubs across the country; seems to be mostly broken down by county.
Purity Tests: A bunch of those stupid little purity tests. More than the typical selection. Check it out if you're bored.
ROOMMATES: A QT movie. Good for a laugh.
Search: Use this next time you want to search for something using Google.
John Kerry: NOT Kerry's official page, but a page of pictures of him with a few amusing captions. Again, great time waster...

George Bush: Anti-Bush filmstrip. don't watch it if you don't like anti-Bush shit. it's that simple...
Dubya Again: Liknesses to a chimp...

---

I leave you with these:

Some new stuff...

Scheduled 6 days this week, so I have today to post on here.

Aaron sent these pages, so I thought I'd post them in the ol blog.

• Tard-Blog
  
• Slow Children at Play
  

I'm loving Seasons coffee house. Great Chi Tea. Yum.

Some games to keep you busy:

• Clear-a-Hill: some snowboarding game
  
• Yetti Body Passing: a new twist on Aaron's last favorite game
  

That's all I got tonight. Alex is a piece of shit. Goodnight.

It's Been a While

So I've been working so much lately I've been unable to update, but here I am for your reading enjoyment (or curiosity or possibly both).

I made overtime last week, which is nice, but HELLO?! PART-time job?! Though I can't complain about being able to make deposits in the bank. Holla. Ironically, working so much has actually made me better manage my time. I've come to realize that since I work so often, if I don't use every bit of free time to be accomplishing assignments that I won't have time later to finish them. Unless I want to comprimise sleep, but then I have to deal with illness, which is never fun (reference last year's 9+ month mono "spat").

I'd also like to wish Elise a Happy 19th Birthday, youngin. ; ) Even though it's after midnight, I haven't gone to bed yet, so it's still blogable.

I don't have much else to say, except that I'm going home on Thursday to work a banquet in East Troy (Ducks Unlimimted), and, since I don't really have class that day that I can still go to and be to East Troy on time, I'm going to go to Delavan and test drive that Silver Viggen. Makes me happy just pretending I'd ever own it. haha

I really have nothing else to say. Peace all.

Subliminal Messages

David sent me this link, and I thought it would be interesting to share with all of you.

It's an illustration of the supposed subliminal messages that can be heard when Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" is played backwards. It then takes some other songs that also have messages that can be heard when played backwards. I had a hard time hearing a few of them. Enjoy!

In other news, I got a hair cut today. I like it. Highlighting next week. Living life on the edge, ooh yeah...

haha, peace.

I'm the 8th World Wonder

I'm giving myself props this time for my intense organizational and time-management skills. After lunch I went to my 1:05 where I rocked our firsl test in Computer Science. Booyah Beres! Okay, so we haven't gotten them back yet, but I know I rocked it. I got done early cuz I'm a pimp like that, so I came back to my room. I thought that since I had about 20 minutes before my 2:10 I'd call about the latest objects of my affection. The Michigan contact told me that the car sold that morning: guy walked in, test drove it, and cut a check on the spot. The Delavan guy gave me a lot of great info, and I went on my merry way to class.

I came back after class and got to work on finishing my animation program that's due in Computer Science tomorrow. It's gorgeous, for the most part. As soon as I finished that I went to the Terrace for some marvelous dinner with Blake. Before we left we made a few modifications to our birthday buddy. (photos of course).


While we ate we played some Bookwork and rocked as usual. I again went on my merry way to martial arts where I taught brilliantly and single-handedly. Everyone seemed to have learned a lot and enjoy themselves, so that covered all my goals for the class.

I came back after class to get Blake (again, what a trooper) to walk to the library with me, since I'm inept when it comes to that stuff. There I got enough resources for the rest of the semester's papers in my Motor Learning class (not only bare minimum, but thinking ahead: no more library visits). Upon returning from the library, I busted out a marvelously clear, consise, and informative paper on response times. Thrilling.

The highlight of my evening was probably playing Scrabble with Macak. Even though I lost due to the abundance of vowels that never seemed to disappear from my hand, I believe a good time was had by all. ;-D I even found time to help Freis with his Computer Science program. All I have left is a poem for Creative Writing, then I'm set!

Katie sent me this link, and I thought I would share it with all of you. Good read, kinda long, so click when u have a little time.

And certain people who have catch phrases seem to think the whole campus idolizes them now, and they asked for recognition... Sooooo, recognition then? Nah. Point for Perk.

Peace.

Raaar

So things could be better right now, but I'm dealing with it. I think I just need some time away, so I might take a "mental health weekend" sometime soon. I'm open to suggestions as far as a destination. Bear in mind I'm not driving anywhere extreme (ah hem).

On a brighter note, I've found some motivation for me to keep returning to my awful job. Not only did I confront my management about finally getting the bartending shifts I was promised (those shifts are beginning to be integrated this week), but I found myself some outside motivation: take a look. Beauty. Price is a little high, but that's where Phil comes in. He's the bully. :-D

Hope everyone else's life is happier than mine right now. And props to those of you who let me vent. Thanks a million,

Conspiracy Theories

Interesting...

Life Update

Classes are going fine. Homework has been easy. People have been wonderful.

Oh yeah, and it's I know, the big 1-9. You're all so jealous... Actually you're probably not. But I don't care.

No big news, cept that I rock, which you already knew. I'll leave you with this:
Peace

Recent Schiznit

As of today I've had a week's worth of classes. I have 5: Leadership & Democracy, Computer Science, Creative Writing: Poetry, Communication in Physical Education, and Motor Learning. They're going fince I guess. But people keep asking me what my major is.I just plain have no idea. I'm open to suggestion, but is it wrong just to take whatever classes seem interesting?

I also started official work at the Heidel House today. It was so dead in there. I took 2 tables, one was just a couple who ordered 2 drinks on the patio. And I looked at my beautiful training checklist. I loved "practice carrying a drink tray" and "practice appropriate methods of approaching a table." You'd think we have no common sense whatsoever. Um, hold the drink tray so you don't drop anything, and introduce yourself to your table and ask if they want something to drink. There, now you too can be the most desired server on the floor...

On a side note, today is Bob's birthday, so Happy Birthday Bob. May he be blessed with a large SUV...

Bartending this weekend was great. Not much else to say there, except that I've never been hit on by so many guys in 3 consecutive days... Amazing, but at the same time, very helpful for tips.

Finally, Projekt Revolution was a great time. Although the tips could have been better, we were pretty slow, and that did give us time to watch the show. Snoop did an awesome set, and The Used was good too, with the exception of the poor acoustics for their set. It got fixed though, and Linkin Park ended the night really well. I'm glad I came back for the last show. Goodbye Alpine, until next summer.

Bad Parenting at its Finest

The Past Week

I know it seems like I've dropped off the face of the earth, but that just means I've been in Ripon. The past week has been 4 days of orientation training, and now we're on day 4 of 4 for orientation. Classes start tomorrow. Registration was today. 16 measly credits. I hate not being able to get into the classes I want, but that's life I suppose; shoulda thought of signing up for them earlier. Damages at the bookstore weren't as bad as expected either.

I have nothing else to say, except that boys are scum. Have a great day!

This one goes out to Anneli:

One of those Random Somethings

Playing (Web) God

I pimped out my blog a little bit tonight. I needed a break from the packing. You never really realize how much clothing you own -- and ironically don't like -- until you try to put it in boxes.

Back to work

Congratulations!!

I'd like to say congratulations to viewer number 1,000 of my blog. I just saw it and the counter said 1,001, so whoever looked at my blog just before I did (shortly before Fri, 11:40 PM), congrats.

Random Stuff

My pillows were wonderful. I much look forward to laying my little head upon them tonight.

Kate is fitting in great at Roma's. Her next shift is Sunday. I work then also, but I'll have to introduce her to some of the other wait staff who she could use as a crutch when she needs to ask a question. With my last day being Monday, the day before I move into school, she'll need someone. I did.

And 4 more days to Ripon.

I work Friday at Roma's. Should be okay, hopefully better tips than the last 3 days.

I work Saturday at Alpine. Hopefully better tips than Dave, especially since the shift will be about 18-19 hours. Kill me now. :'( That's gonna suck.

Then I work Sunday hostessing at Roma's, then I open the bar Monday. Shift shoulf be done semi-eary, so I'll have some time to go home early and last-minute pack.

Bedtime now: I promised dad we could go skiing and wakeboarding and such tomorrow if it's nice. Sadly I've only been for one wakeboarding run all summer. :( Stupid work (which I love). REEEEEEALLY can't wait fr school, though.

Goodnight! :-*

Livin La Vida Trabajando

So I work nonstop, or so it seems. Then when I try to fit in free time hanging out with my friends, my family complains that they feel neglected. What's a girl to do?!?

I'll recap the past few days:

Dave Matthews Band Concert at Alpine. I suppose I'll post the little banners like I did before also:
Don't let the banner fool you, Saturday has been sold out for quite some time now, and Sunday was sold out by Saturday, I believe. Tips still left much to be desired. Damn young crowd: don't know the value of good, premium beer (hint hint, my station). Then they don't tip. Our stand was slow, and I'm thinking the next two shows will be the same:
They're predominantly younger crowds, and I'm really thinking about not even coming back to work Projekt Revolution. I'd have to miss the 2nd day of class in 2 different courses. I don't think that would leave a very good impression. On the other hand I have to come home that Sunday for a big ol banquet bartending shift anyway. I've yet to decide what to do about that last show.

Besides Alpine, I've just been working at Roma's. Kate got a job there, which should be fun. I get to train her tomorrow. Boo yah to Mitch's for treating her like shit... Kudos to her for leaving...

I move back tp Ripon in 5 days and counting. I can't wait to get back to school, but I'll miss my summer employment. I have a job promised to me at the Heidel House, a resort in Green Lake. I would have preferred a bartending position, but they said they are even more desperate for waitresses, and since I have waitressing experience and my current boss gave me an excellent recommendation, they're going to start me there instead. She said I can pick up bar shifts later if I want. Pff. Grr. Although, bartending and waitressing can come out about even, sometimes ever favoring the waitressing, if you play your cards right. It helps a little that I'll make an extra quarter an hour waitressing there, and the bartending wage is 50 cents less... I suppose that's neither here nor there, though.

And I've been having these wonderful back pains lately. Killer. Like, feel-like-an-invalid bad. Thank god for vikadin, that's all I have to say... My back is hurting just sitting here typing, so I'm going to get to bed. Brand new pillows: should be a great night.

~Bueno noche~

Buy My Stuff!

From Amazon
or
From eBay

More stuff to be listed soon.

So yeah...

I stole this from Brett:

Cancel the destruction
there is no time
our detonators have been placed

if only we had known ahead of time
he was a tired leader
hating his life
and feeding lies
to the innocent.

platonic love
empathy
emotion
primal instinct

the scene was bare

a chemical diagnosis was made
proclaiming that we are depressed.
what is the difference if no one
is elated.

Euphoria is a dream

chaos is life
life is chaos

climb to the top of your ladder
and sell yourself for the pot of gold.

It doesn't glitter
when it's dirty.

concerned debutantes are waiting in the wings
of a theater packed with socialites
who will never understand
their love for simplicity

Weird Stuff on eBay

• Why would you want this??
  
• Could you imagine what the postal workers would think delivering this?
  
• Just what I've always wanted!!
  
• Interesting, but would probably get messy...
  
• These should have their own secion...
  
  • Puppetry
    
  • Soap Dispenser
    
  • Sink Stopper
    
  • Toothbrush
  
  
• Sometimes you just have to wonder if these auctions are for real.
  
• A great addition for any home's decor
  
• Sadly, Dennis already bid on one of these...
  
• These also get their own division
  
  • Doll
    
  • Cards
    
  • Bills
    
  • Entertainment
    
  • Even Better Entertainment

Well that's all for now. Have a good night, and feel free to leave more amusing auctions you find.

Tazer Gun Anyone?

Monday I opened the bar, then went shopping with Emily and Katie. Great times. I got tons of stuff, including 7 new, free pairs of underwear from Victoria'a Secret. Can't go wrong with that, now, can you?

Tuesday I got up early to go to the DMV and renew my drivers license. I thought if I got there early I wouldn't have to wait in line very long. Logical, right? Of course not. I was preceeded by a number of mexicans who has enormous language barriers between them and the DMV staff and several other idiots who sucked because they made me wait. It was a little over an hour, I'd imagine. Oh, and they got some new number system. Holes like swiss cheese in that baby. Several people who entered maybe up to 20-30 minutes after I did were taken care of and got to leave before I did. What is that?!? But my nre photo looks pretty hot...well, as far as ID photos from the DMV go...

Then I went out on the lake. ETD was 11:00 ish; actual was more like 1:00, 1:30. Assuming I wouldn't need sunscreen, I brought none. I'm a lovely shade of reddish brown now. All I can say is thank God for base tans. That shoulder blush will be gone by tomorrow. : )

Since I don't have much else to say, I thought I'd leave you with this mildly amusing e-mail I just received. Enjoy.

---

Dear Friends,

Paula is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "Hey y'all, hold my beer and watch this!" Well, I have outdone myself once again. No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a LifeTime movie in the near future. Here goes.

Last weekend, I spied something at Larry's Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my "fancy" is easily tickled. Paula sent me into Star Market to pick up some milk yesterday and I bought a Superball in the checkout line -- 50 cents. What a bargain! It tickled my fancy -- still does. That thing bounces soooooo high, and it has provided me with hours of entertainment. It just doesn't get any better than that, now does it?)

I'm so easily distracted. That dang Superball is so much fun. So what were we talking about? Oh yeah, I bought something really cool at Larry's Pistol and Pawn last Saturday. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low-amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-necked geek! . If you've never seen one of these things in action, then you're truly missing out -- way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don't need no stinkin' directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however, and pressed it against a metal surface that I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee!!! I'm easily amused, just FYI, but I have yet to explain to Paula what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave -- ruuuu roooo.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my dog Molly looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Molly), and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Molly for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet doggy, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Paula to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time.

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this little device (measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries) thinking to myself, "No friggin' way!" Friggin' way--trust me, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I'm sitting there alone, Molly looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "Don't do it daddy," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil' ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it.

(Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight--always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don't ya hate that?) I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY SHIT!  DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!!

I'm pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Molly was standing over me making whimpering sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "Do it again daddy, do it again!"

(Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You're not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you're lucky, you won't lodge one of the prongs 1/4" deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-BITCH that hurt!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. +/- an ounce or two, I'm pretty sure. By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I'm offering a reward. They're round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. They make a clanging sound, and were last seen hanging from Paula's rearview mirror. Miss 'em -- sure would like to get 'em back.

NOTE TO MEN: DO NOT buy your wife a Tazer gun. Paula's is broke now and it may be awhile before I get around to fixing the damn thing.

NOTE TO WOMEN: Buy lots of batteries -- think of the possibilities.

This message is provided to you as a public service to illustrate that stupid should hurt, and most assuredly always does in my case. Have a nice day!

***Name ommitted for privacy***

---

My Weekend

Lots to say. I'll update tonight

---

Well it's "tonight," so I guess I have to keep up my end of the bargain...

Thursday:
Called into work early. Made some quick cash bartending. Went to play volleyball. Played well. Won the match as usual.

Friday:
Waitressed at "The Roma." Made some phat cash. Went to Milwaukee and met up with Andy and Caleb. Slept in Milwaukee.

Saturday:
Went out to breakfast. Drove home. Lazed. Talked a lot on the phone. Went to work again. Full moon: lots of weirdos, as usual. I may have been one of them. Phat cash again. Went to Milwaukee, this time to meet up with John and Chris. Funny story that's too long to type. Slept at John's.

Sunday:
Got up. Drove to Katie's house. Talked to her mom about her mom's date last night. Went out to breakfast. Went shopping. Found nothing. Got frustrated. Left. Went home. Went to work. Again, phat cash. Katie showed up at work to tell me we werr going to Emily's tonight. We hung out, played some Clue, at which I kicked ass. Went home. Writing a blog and talking to Alex online. Going to bed soon.


The End. Ask for detail if you want, but I'm too lazy for deaf ears...

Words to Live by...

Lounged around on the boat Tuesday, got ready for volleyball Tuesday evening, but it was cancelled so I stayed in.

I worked tonight (Wednesday). It was quite slow for a usual Wednesday, and we had 6 servers on, so since I had the party section and there were no parties until the very end of the night, I had only 2 active tables during the breif rush. It sucked, and tips weren't good. Not bad, but not good for a Wednesday.

I learned how to make a Bahama Mama today though. No one's ever ordered that before, but one of the cooks did tonight, so I got to learn. This was all while I had one table left who simply needed nothing but time to eat, and they wouldn't leave. They were there forever!!

After I got off of work, which was at least 11:15, I went to Katie's house cuz Knox was in town and I haven't seen her in forever. It was good to see Knox again, but she had to get up early to drive back to Boston tomorrow, so I didn't have very long to visit with her before she had to leave. That was sad.

Then I was getting eaten alive by mosquitos, so I decided to go home and sleep. Lots of working in my future, so I thought sleep wouldn't hurt...

P.S. The title is a link. You should click on it...

Monday

I slept in today, which was wonderful. I got up and lounged around the house for a while.

My mom got a claim to her insurance for me for some childbirth charge ($2094 or so) from June 19th. She asked my countless times what I did that day and if I was sure there was something I wasn't telling her. It was insane; she wouldn't drop it. I worked that day, the day before, and the day after. I mean really, wouldn't she have noticed somewhere during the 9 months prior if I was doing to have delivered a freakin baby?!

After that I went to work. I was graced with the wonderful open bar shift again today. Better tips than usual, all because of the food service guy. haha, that's awesome. Then Nikki, the hostess, said she wished she could come to work for 2 hours and go home. I said I switch with her, and so it was. After my shift in the bar I hostessed for an incredibly slow night. When we closed I was told to stick around and learn how to do everything. There was a lot to take in, but now I know a lot more than many of the other employees do, so that's nice.

Now I'm going to go to bed. If the weather's nice, the girls and I are going out on the lake. Should be a good time.

Don't Stay - Linkin Park

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go

Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone

Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away
I don’t need you anymore, I don’t want to be ignored
I don’t need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
What you were changing me into
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay
Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
Take all your faithlessness with you
Just give me myself back and
Don’t stay

Don't stay

Don't stay

Las Quatro Dias Pasadas

So since I did a lot of repeat stuff, I'll just talk about the stuff I did, and not what day I did everything.

US BANK CHAMPIONSHIP IN MILWAUKEE (a.k.a. GREATER MILWAUKEE OPEN):
I worked at this Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. I really didn't get to see any golf, but that was okay cuz I really wouldn't have paid any attention anyway. I did other useless things, like hand out literature on random AstraZeneca drugs and health related stuff, count how many people did different things -- enter the tent, get their blood pressure checked, grabbed a literature packet, got a seat cushion or passport holder, played the "Putting Challenge II" game -- inside the tent, help with the consultations with the golf pro, etc. Long days in the fresh air left me exhausted, so I didn't have much a life around that.

KELLLY'S BLEACHERS II VOLLEYBALL:
So since I was so exhausted from work, volleyball Thursday was rough. haha, I sucked it up sooo bad. I had no desire to move, and I kept laughing at Wes. We still won all three because we're awesome like that, even though we only played with 5 again this week.

FLYING DRAGONS COLOR BELT PROMOTION & SCHOOL-WIDE PICNIC:
The promotion took far longer than needed. Clean-up went quick afterward, except the endless vacuuming and the dawdling that inevitably follows. By the time I finally got to the picnic I had a half hour to eat before I had to leave for Alpine. That was sad, but the food was good, so it sorta evened out.

ALPINE VALLEY CONCERT: THE DEAD WITH WARREN HAYES:

At the concert Jamie and I had our stand back with one other girl, Erin. At first we didn't know if she'd be cool, but she turned out to be pretty awesome. We made pretty good tips. The crowd was weird, but it seemed like less of a hassle than usual. Cept at the end. Oh well. At the end of the night we only had to pay $5 each back to Alpine. Not Bad. That's all.

I like to drive all over Wisconsin

MONDAY:
So Monday I had to be up early to drive to Madison for a re-audition for the St. Mary's TV spot. After driving past the place I was supposed to go a few times due to poor labeling of the building (small sign blocked my minivan = not very effective). I really don’t think the re-audition went too well. I wasn’t “in the zone” if you will, just kinda spacey, and I really didn’t have much motivation. Now it’s Wednesday and I think they started shooting the series today, so I’m guessing the decision was already made. Oh well. I hear the pay wasn’t stellar, and I’m sick of trying to find these off-the-wall buildings.

The audition took less time than I had estimate, as did the overall driving. I stopped at Johnson Creek for my dad to look for something at the Black and Decker store. Turns out it’s no longer there, so I took that opportunity to shop. Got some good deals, which is nice. I continued to the Wal-Mart in Delafield, which also took less time than expected. I tried to waste time there also to no avail.

I continued my drive on to work, to which I arrived about 25 minutes early.
It was a good day because the food delivery guy for whom I make strawberry margaritas gave me a $10 tip.
It was a bad day because I only got $1 from a guy who made me listen for about an hour and a half about how much and why he loves Trading Spaces.
It was a good day because, thanks to our Reinhart man, over the past weeks I have become a margarita master.
It was a bad day because I only got to work for 2.5 hours.
It was a good day because after bartending I got to go to the martial arts school, where I make better wages.
It was a bad day because there wasn’t much to do there and I got bored.
It was a good day because it all ended in sleeping, and I love sleeping.

TUESDAY:
My mom woke me up early this morning (because she’s a compulsive early riser) so we could go to the mall so I could get khakis for the GMO and then go to Sam’s Club to stock up for the school picnic. I got 2 pairs of khakis from one store: amazing.

We got a bunch of stuff at Sam’s, but nothing really for me, so that’s probably not interesting because, obviously, all you do during YOUR uneventful days is read about what I’M doing...

At 6:30 I went to open gym volleyball at the ‘ol high school. It’s so weird playing with that group (going to be freshmen in high school) after playing with my Thursday Night Co-Ed League for so long (going to be seniors in or have graduated from college). Katie Smith, Sammi and I played 3 on 6, a rotating group of the 7 underclassmen, and we killed them so badly we had to do something else. It was really quite pathetic, but fun at the same time because it wasn’t at all serious. I hope you like run-on sentences...

That night I went to Brad’s. Lotsa drama that I don’t feel like typing, so I won’t, but if you wanna ask, feel free.

WEDNESDAY:
Today I got up early again to find a nice package in the mail. That made me late to pick up Emily, especially after my mom spilled water all down the front of my khaki skirt. Emily and I headed to Madison noting that they close a lot or roads for “construction,” and there’s usually none at all. Assholes.

When we got to Madison we decided to grab lunch at Potbelly’s, which was amazing. The A’ Wreck: I recommend it. ;-) After lunch Emily said I had to look into some of the new boutiques with the sickeningly expensive clothes that were just oh-so-worth-it. Bear in mind this is on the level of bringing an alcoholic to an open bar. At the very first store I found a $300 dress on sale for 70% off. It was such a steal, and of course the one in the entire store was my size and it fit perfectly.

That was my one purchase all day though, so it worked out. We went to some other stores, but nothing struck my eye. I went to my agency after that for the Go-See. Prolly didn’t go too well because I was the first one. Oh well. We’ll wait to hear back...or not. Who knows?

I then sped to work because they started late. Made it in the knick of time cuz I’m pimp like that. I was hostessing today, and if I do say so myself, I held it down like a pro. Watch out! No tips, but why would I want to make $80and up like everyone else? Pff...


Well I need to get up early (5 AM) to work at the GMO tomorrow, so I’m going to bed. Maybe I’ll put up some links tomorrow. Maybe not. We’ll see. Good night all.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

I didn't do much today. Wrote about what I did since the last time I posted first thing this morning when I got home. I took a nice shower and decided to lay outside and tan while I wrote my OC letters. That was nice. My parents thought we should go out on the boat, so partway through a letter i switched locales.

I finished my letters, we looked at a house, AND I even get an hour-long nap. Pretty successful.

Speaking of which, this job predictor says I should be a Movie Star. I couln't complain about that, so I tried some other people too:

My mom --> Supermodel
My dad --> Chef
My brother --> Professional Tramp
Anneli Martinek --> Stunt Person
Emily Mouilso --> Quiz Show Contestant (is that a real profession?)
Katie Moze --> God
Katie Lynn Moze (same girl) --> Satan (odd)
Elise Fritchie --> Astrologer (don't you with your name was Katie Lynn Moze)
Kate Peterson --> Garden Gnome
Dru Korab --> Lumberjack
Alex Wente --> Alien Investigator
Eric Klaes --> Housekeeper
Phil Cool --> Lumberjack
Brady Nelson --> Cowboy
Carson Adler --> "The job you have now" (cop out)
Nate Lenhof --> Funeral Director
Aaron Janasiak --> Church Minister
Mary Sterrett --> Professional Shopper
Toby Gwiasdowski --> Computer Nerd
David Freisleben --> Top Gun Pilot
Mike Bohn --> "Anything except what you're doing now" (his away message says "work" right now. odd)
Khaatim Boyd --> Dentist
Taylor Bogdanske --> Satan (can there be more than one?)
Chris Rydz --> Second-Hand Car Salesman
Matt Watkins --> Permanent Temp (what?)
Dan Nichols --> Human Shield (that's sorta like being a cop...)
Bob Weber --> Quiz Show Contestant (he can compete against Emily!!)

Comment if you tried your name and aren't listed here. Let me know if yours was good...

Adventures

WEDNESDAY:
So tonight after a successful night at Roma's, I decided to drive up to Ripon and meet up with Anneli and Aaron at Noah's apartment. Turns out a bunch of other Ripon people were in the area too, so it was a pretty good hanging out-size. Brady, Tara, Carson, Chris, Trina, Jamie, and Alex were all there too. So that was pretty cool.

THURSDAY:
This morning I had to wake up early to go to Madison for an audition for some Hospital TV commercial. That was easy, but a weird audition. I also got some more information on doing promo work at the Greater Milwaukee Open.

After my audition and lunch on State St., I drove Aaron back to his house. I found out I need khakis for this GMO thing, but I couldn't get a hold of anyone to meet me at the mall and go shopping.

At 6:30 we had another volleyball game at Kelly's. We ended up having to play with 5, but still played awesome. We won all three games again, and got a free pizza. What a payoff.

I was so tired from getting to bed late Wednesday and having to get up early on Thursday that we just came home. I wrote some OC letters and went to bed.

FRIDAY:
I had a dentist appointment this morning. That damn lady who cleaned my teeth should have been fired! She stabbed me in the gums probably a dozen times with that sharp metal thing they use to clean your teeth -- oh, she got me once in the chin too. Then she laughs it off and says, "You have slippery saliva!" Is there any other kind? Sorry! My gums were in pain all day and part of Saturday. Oh, but no cavities. Boo yah.

I came home after a quick Wal-Mart stop for the parents post dental abuse. Anneli was coming today to visit for the weekend, and she, of course, had beaten me home. My parents called us to have us put bring the ski equipment down to the pier, so we did all that in hopes we'd be on our way out to the lake soon. Nope. It took us so long to get out there that I only had about an hour before I had to come back in and get ready for work.

I did get a wakeboarding run in, however, right after I finished applying tanning oil. Luckily for me our wakeboarding rope doesn't have grips on the handle. Usually I like that, but my hands were covered in oil, which made my first wakeboard run of the season extra-difficult with the added necessity of a death grip on the handle.

After Anneli took a run and had slightly lesser yet comparable grip problems, I jumped onto shore and drove back to my house to get ready. Anneli and my parents brought the boat in at just about the perfect time for me to be to work on time. Of course that didn't happen. I was about a 1/2 hour late, but there were 2 hostesses tonight, so it wasn't too bad.
After work we had made plans with John to hang out with him and stay at his apartment.

We lucked out that Anneli has friends in the area, because when we called John he said he was on his way home from a baseball game and that he’d be home in about an hour. We hung out with Anneli’s friends for a while (a couple hours) and called John back. He said he’d gotten sidetracked, but he’d definitely be at his apartment in the next half hour. Another hour or so passes while we’re with Anneli’s friends, and we finally decide we’re ready to leave and go to John’s. Just to make sure he’s there, we give him a call again. He says he’s walking to his apartment as we speak and he’ll be there in no more than 20 minutes. We wait a little while, then leave to go meet John.

We get to John’s apartment and buzz and buzz and buzz his room to let us in. Nothing. We call; his cell phone is off or dead. Just then I turn around to see blinking lights. It’s the man who goes around distributing parking tickets. I go out there and ask him where we’re allowed to park overnight. I’m informed I can park on the other side of the street if I have a permit. I ask where I can park overnight if I DON’T have a permit, and he informs me in the snottiest way possible that he’s not a valet and doesn’t park people’s cars for them. I replied as nicely as possible that I didn’t want him to park my car for me, I was just wondering where overnight parking is allowed. He goes on a rant about how there are many different people issuing parking tickets at this time -- parking people like him, public safety, and police -- so he really couldn’t tell me. That was the jist, but it must have taken him about 10 minutes just on that. SO I tell him I’m going to move my car, and continuing his power-trip, he informs me that he is going to wait right here until I do.

I get Anneli and Aaron from the lobby of John’s apartment, and we pile in the car to go somewhere else. By this time I’m pretty upset at John because of the broken plans that were made by him about a week ago. I won’t even go into how much I hate broken plans again. We dicide just to drive back to East Troy and sleep at my house.

I ask Aaron if we can drop him off at his house because it’s less out of the way than having to take him home in the morning, and he says his parents would be pretty upset if he came home at this time in the morning (2:15 AM). I tell Aaron that if he sleeps at my house he’s not getting dropped off until after my brother’s company party tomorrow, which would be dinner-time-ish. He says that’s fine. Apparently while I was not in the room after we got back to my house (3:00 AM ish) he informs Anneli that he has to work at his grandma’s in the morning, but it shouldn’t be a big deal. I get the two of them to bed after a half hour to an hour, and I finally get to sleep.

SATURDAY:
Aaron comes in my room in the morning and wakes me up saying he got a nasty message from his parents asking why he wasn’t home yet because he was supposed to be at his grandma’s 20 minutes ago. So that means now I have to drive 45 minutes north to take Aaron home, another 45 minutes back towards my house, then another half hour south to my brother’s company party. 9:00 AM is my new wake-up time. Quite cranky from my less than 6 (prolly closer to 5) hours of sleep, I get ready and Anneli gets ready and we drive Aaron to his house. Of course all of this is MY fault because "I'm supposed to be Aaron's better judgement." Bullshit.

As we’re running through East Troy again, I call my parents to meet up with them for this party. They inform me that we need to pick up my brother from home. When we arrive home Nick is supposed to be ready to go. Where is he? Oh, rolling out of bed. Slacker. More time and gas wasted, and Rebecca’s still cranky.

We get to the party, which is kinda boring because, well, it’s a company party, and I don’t work for the company. Granted I knew some people, but still... Anneli and I lay out by their private lake for a while and tanned, which was nice until a wasp stung me in the leg. Bastard.

We had some food and decided to get going. The plan was to go shopping, but for some stupid reason the malls close at 6:00 on Saturdays, so we woulda had about 15 minutes if we got our asses in gear and really moved. But we were too tired and settled on a nap. That was nice.

When we woke up we headed to Milwaukee, this time to visit Nate and Caleb, where we knew we’d have a place to stay. haha That was a good time, but still very stressful for me. I won’t go into that.

SUNDAY:
I wake up, drive Aaron home, direct Anneli to the freeway, and get to go home myself. Now I have a ton of shit to do, so I’m going to stop writing this.



Peace