Alas, I move back into the dorms in 12 days. Work has been really hectic, and this week is no exception. I have a great day off on Sunday: the weather was nice, we went to the beach, cooked out for dinner, just perfect. I worked a really long shift at the BoatHouse Monday, like 16 hours, closed Grey Rock on Tuesday, and closed BoatHouse tonight. Tomorrow (well today, since it's after midnight) I close Grey Rock again, then Friday I have the pleasure of closing the BoatHouse again, which is USUALLY a good time.
Here's the great part: the concert at Alpine this week is
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If I live through this week, we'll see when I find time to post again.
| 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" " Well, It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" 13. I went to a seafood disco last week. I pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?" 16. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!". 17. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 18. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive." 19. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal was transcend dental medication. 20. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal;" The other goes to a family in Spain, and they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 21. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. 22. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... ...A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis! |
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